mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
just tell him i said nine months
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
