I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
