There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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