I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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