no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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