I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
