At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
