it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
