Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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