So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
