too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
