she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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