My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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