Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The adults are the big ones right?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
