Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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