Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
