He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
