I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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