Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
