Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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