Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
