Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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