i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
