I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
