Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
