the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
