i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
