youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Even my vagina gasped.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
