Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
