Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
