He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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