Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
