what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
