You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
