Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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