just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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