just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
