Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
