i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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