Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
