Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Four minutes until I can fart!
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Randomize
