oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
