so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
