I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
