Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
