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Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I could make wine with my vomit
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
