Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
