her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
