she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Floor bacon is actually really good
God, I missed his penis.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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