we're blogging at a bar
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
