I just cut my nipple shaving
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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