Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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