i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
