did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
the condom got lost in my hair
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
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