You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
It's just like the Real World with babies
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
